Benjamin Spock baby and caring for him. Benjamin Spock's Raising Methods Benjamin Spock

Dr. Benjamin Spock is called a reformer. In 1946, an American pediatrician published the book “The Child and His Care,” which became a bestseller and changed the way parents think about raising children. Spock's methods are still debated. So what is their essence and why do mothers from all over the world love the books of the American doctor so much?

Spock's Basic Principles

“A child is not a blueprint for a person” - this is the statement that underlies Benjamin Spock’s parenting methods. He always tried to convey a simple idea to parents: every child is an individual whose opinion must be respected, which is why the doctor first of all calls not to punish children, but to negotiate with them.

“The moment you let a child know that he is the most exceptional baby in the world, it nourishes his spirit in the same way that milk nourishes his body,” says the doctor.

In other words, love is the basis of the entire educational process, and you need to constantly demonstrate this to your child.

Children under the age of three months, on the advice of Dr. Spock, should be picked up more often - lulled, caressed, swaddled often. Today, this position is disputed by many psychologists, but the American pediatrician was sure: the baby will grow up obedient only if he physically feels close to his parents during this period of development.

When a child turns three months old, his psyche changes. According to Spock, at this age the baby should begin to be taught to be independent - left alone in the crib, taught to fall asleep without his parents, fed not according to the clock, but when the child asks for food. At the same time, it is very important to be able to distinguish the desires and needs of children from their whims. According to Spock, desires should be respected and satisfied, and whims should be ignored. “I want to play” is a desire, “I want to play with the same exact doll as the girl next door, so buy it for me” - this is already a whim.

Spock is also sure that children should not be forbidden too much. If a child scatters buttons around the house, then he is probably creating some kind of fairy-tale world out of them, and preventing this will hinder the development of the child’s fantasy and imagination. Only things that are truly dangerous should be prohibited: running across the road at a red light, coming close to a fire, watching scary movies before bed. If you surround a child entirely with prohibitions, then, as he grows up, he will continue to prohibit himself from many things, and this will negatively affect the development of the child’s personality.

The most difficult age, according to Spock, begins in a child at three years old - it is during this period that the child begins to show negative character traits, including stubbornness.

How to calm a child if he is crying?

Critics of the Spock theory condemned the American doctor for allegedly teaching parents not to pay attention to children's tears. In fact, Spock has developed a whole system of advice on how to calm a child when the cause of tears is whims and stubbornness, and not needs, but at the same time do this in such a way that the comments do not look like prohibitions.

Here are just a few of the options suggested by the doctor.

Come up with an important matter for which it is worth putting off crying: “Let’s cry later, otherwise it will soon get dark and we won’t have time to go to the store.”

Suggest crying quietly so as not to wake up dad, grandma or even the cat.

Try to distract the child from and, not paying attention to the tears, offer to drink tea or watch the leaves bloom on the trees. Another good way is to switch the baby’s attention to something else: “Your eyelash has fallen out, let’s remove it, otherwise it’s stopping you from crying.”

Say out loud the problem that is causing the child to cry: “I understand that you are upset because we didn’t buy you a car, but we can’t buy it now.”

Offer a cure for bad mood. Such medicine can be any tasty little thing - marmalade, cookies. The main thing is that the child understands: if the medicine does not help, they will not give it to him anymore, then he will be forced to play along and calm down.

Benjamin Spock's development methods

In addition to the principles of education, Dr. Spock also developed several methods for child development. Here are some games suggested by Spock. By the way, they are actively used in many development centers.

Development of visual memory

Invite your child to draw with him. Draw a yard, a house, a cat on the window, smoke from a chimney, a dog in a kennel, and then invite your child to repeat the drawing. It is important that he remembers and displays as many details as possible - the dog, the smoke, and the cat. If he doesn’t succeed, then look for mistakes together and then complete the picture.

Development of auditory memory

Constantly invite your child to guess what sound was heard next to him: mom slammed the oven or refrigerator door, mom turned on the hair dryer or mixer. In this way, the child will learn to listen carefully to surrounding sounds, concentrate on them, and will better perceive sound information.

Speech development

To develop a child's speech, Spock offers the simplest method - simply talk to the baby more often. The richer and more eloquent the parents’ speech, the better the child will speak.

In the presence of the baby, mom and dad should comment out loud on all their actions: “Now we will peel the potatoes, boil them, make mashed potatoes from them, now we take the first potato - beautiful, round.” From the outside it may look strange, but in this way the child remembers everything that the parents say.

Development of tactile memory

The development of fine motor skills is the key to the proper development of a child. At least, that’s what Dr. Spock thought and suggested a very simple game: you need to hide all sorts of small objects in a bowl of cereal and invite the baby to look for them and guess them without taking them out. At this moment, the mother can cook something and go about her business in the kitchen, while the child will be busy, enthusiastic, and at the same time will train fine motor skills.

Good speech, visual memory, the ability to quickly perceive information by ear - these are the main qualities that need to be developed in a child, according to the doctor. At the same time, show love, but do not limit the baby’s independence and do not surround him with prohibitions. All this will help to avoid problems with raising a child. After conducting his own research, Spock noticed that obedient children get sick less often than naughty ones, and they become naughty because they lack love and attention.

Yulia Shershakova

Author	Description	Year	Price	Book type
Benjamin Spock	The author of the book is a famous American pediatrician and public figure, a fighter for peace and disarmament. In his book addressed to parents, Dr. Spock talks about how to raise a child... - Mechanical Engineering, (format: 84x108/32, 496 pages)	1990	250	paper book
Benjamin Spock	Your baby has been born. His crying evokes compassion, and his malaise evokes panic. However, if you have a Benjamin Spock book, you are not helpless. His wealth of experience will help solve the whole range of issues... - FAIR PRESS, (format: 84x108/32, 576 pages) Popular medicine	2001	380	paper book
Benjamin Spock	Benjamin Spock is the most revered children's doctor in the whole world. For 55 years, his book The Child and Care for Him has been a constant companion for young parents from the moment their baby is born until... - Eksmo-Press, (format: 84x108/32, 576 pp.) Handbook for parents	2003	350	paper book
Benjamin Spock	Millions of parents around the world are raising their children like Spock. The book by the famous doctor Benjamin Spock, The Child and His Care, has been a reference guide on raising and caring for a child for many years... - Nizhne-Volzhsk Book Publishing House, (format: 60x90/16, 454 pp.)	1980	350	paper book
Benjamin Spock	Benjamin Spock is the most revered children's doctor in the whole world. For 55 years, his book The Child and His Care has been a constant companion for young parents from the moment their baby is born until... - My World, GmbH&Co. KG, (format: 84x108/32, 320 pages) Miracle Mistress	2005	240	paper book
Spock Benjamin	The author of the book is a famous American pediatrician and public figure, a fighter for peace and disarmament. In his book addressed to parents, Dr. Spock tells how to raise a child... - Polytechnic, (format: 84x108/32, 496 pages)	1991	280	paper book
Benjamin Spock	The author of the book is a famous American pediatrician and public figure, a fighter for peace and disarmament. In his book addressed to parents, Dr. Spock gives scientifically based recommendations for raising... - Kazakhstan, (format: 84x108/32, 512 pages)	1989	330	paper book
Benjamin Spock	In his book, the famous American doctor and psychologist Benjamin Spock covers many issues of raising children, gives useful advice to parents, illustrating his recommendations with various examples - Truth of the North, (format: 84x108/32, 560 pp.)	1994	210	paper book
Benjamin Spock	American scientist, pediatrician and teacher Benjamin Spock is known throughout the world. In different countries, more than one generation of children raised according to Spock has already grown up. Now his main book has been redesigned again... - Medley, (format: 70x100/16, 704 pp.)	2014	326	paper book
Benjamin Spock	American scientist, pediatrician and teacher Benjamin Spock is known throughout the world. In different countries, more than one generation of children raised according to Spock has already grown up. Now his main book has been redesigned again... - Medley, Ripol Classic, (format: 70x100/16, 704 pp.)	2014	315	paper book
Spock Benjamin	The American scientist, pediatrician and teacher Benjamin Spock gained worldwide fame, and more than one generation of children raised according to Spock has grown up. The book will help you calmly, confidently and... - Medley, (format: 84x108/32, 512 pp.) Pedagogy. Education	2010	1444	paper book
Spock Benjamin	American scientist, pediatrician and teacher Benjamin Spock is known throughout the world. In different countries, more than one generation of children raised according to Spock has already grown up. Now his main book has been redesigned again... - Medley, (format: 84x108/32, 512 pp.) Pedagogy. Education	2018	664	paper book
Benjamin Spock	American scientist, pediatrician and teacher Benjamin Spock is known throughout the world. In different countries, more than one generation of children raised according to Spock has already grown up. Now his main book has been redesigned again... - Medicine, (format: 60x90/16, 456 pp.)	1971	400	paper book

Reviews about the book:

Young mothers, listen to your heart and don't read Spock! The medical advice in this book is hopelessly outdated, and many of the tips on caring for a child are inhumane (for example, the above-mentioned advice not to pick up a child when he cries, etc.). My mother-in-law, out of stupidity and the lack of other literature at that time, applied Spock’s advice to my husband, then still a baby, so he, poor thing, gave himself a hernia while she stood and also cried outside the door. As a result, he had surgery to remove the hernia 3 times (the last time it came out was when he was 7 years old)!

Margarita 0

Old views and bad advice, many children grew up traumatized by following his recommendations, and his own son did not speak to him for the rest of his life, which gives the clearest characterization of his approach.

Benjamin Spock "The Child and its Care. Conversation with your mother" is outdated, in principle. There are some chapters that are true. But there are few of them, and after the Sears book and courses on natural childbirth and baby care, I did not accept it morally and on an intuitive level during the reading process. Somewhere I was just scrolling through. For example, chapters on artificial feeding - how to dilute syrup with cow's (!) milk for a baby, goat's milk is harmful.(!) Or the phrase: do not accustom the baby to your hands, if he cries, do not come near him, raise him the first day he will cry for 30 minutes, the second 20, the third 10 and calm down. How many Soviet and other children were brought up on such pedagogical experiences, forming a hostile attitude of the world towards the child. He calls his mother, but she is not there and no one needs him. And at this time the mother is toiling outside the door. Just a break in the natural processes of Mother and Child. When it is known that the first year is a “tame” stay for the child, constant contact with the mother and father to develop a correct understanding of the world in the baby. Wearing in slings, because at first the baby feels everything kinesthetically and auditorily, to the point that he hears the usual (from the moment he is in the womb) beating of the mother’s heart and calms down. No, I don't recommend Spock. Sears is a thing.

Natalia 0

a very good book, my mother recommended it, and I don’t regret it one bit) everything is written in an accessible way and calms you down at the right time)

The publication turned out to be simply excellent, most likely the best of this book. Beautiful, bright, with real photographs, diagrams, pictures on EVERY page:)

No. 2. Avoiding night feedings

“If the baby is a month old and weighs about 4.5 kg, but is still waking up for night feedings, I think it would be wiser not to rush to him with milk. ... Generally speaking, a baby weighing about 4.5 kg and feeding normally during the day , does not require night feeding.”

Today, doctors are convinced that night feedings should not be stopped so early: they stimulate the production of the hormone prolactin, which is responsible for the formation of breast milk. It is important to maintain night feedings as long as your baby needs them. WHO also recommends feeding on demand - that is, as often as the child wants, both day and night.

No. 3. Ignoring crying

If a child is naughty or crying, “according to Spock,” there is no need to react to this: “Some children vomit easily when they are excited. This frightens the mother, she looks at the child with an anxious look, hurries to clean up after him, tries to be more considerate towards him and next time immediately runs to him as soon as he screams... If the mother decided to teach him to fall asleep without screaming and rocking, then she should not deviate from the intended plan and not enter the child.”

However, the results of a recent study conducted by American scientists indicate that a mother can safely, without fear of anything, follow her maternal instinct. The more “hugs” and “hands”, the more, the more mother’s attention and care, the more successful, self-confident, kind, sensitive, mentally and physically healthy person your child will become when he grows up. The researchers came to these conclusions based on data on the childhood and adult lives of more than 600 people.

No. 4. Sleeping on your stomach

“It is advisable to teach your child to sleep on his stomach from birth if he doesn’t mind. Subsequently, when he learns to roll over, he will be able to change his position himself if he wants.”

In the 21st century, pediatricians say that a child should sleep exclusively on his back and on a hard mattress. Sleeping on the stomach of a baby is dangerous: this is sudden infant death syndrome.

No. 5. Orange juice as a first food

“Doctors usually recommend introducing orange juice into a baby’s diet when they are a few months old,” says the book Baby and Baby Care. “You can squeeze the juice out of oranges yourself or use canned juice... Usually, until 5-6 months, children drink juice from a pacifier, and then from a cup.”

No. 6. Meat feeding from 2 months

“Research has shown that meat is very beneficial for children even in the first year of life,” writes Dr. Spock. – Many doctors now recommend giving meat starting from 2-6 months. Meat for a small child is either cranked in a meat grinder several times, or rubbed through a sieve, or grated with tinder. Therefore, it is easy for a child to eat it, even while he has no teeth.”

Two months is certainly too early an age to start complementary feeding, especially meat. The pediatrician recommends starting meat feeding no earlier than 8-9 months.

No. 7. Too big undershirts

You can read the following about clothes for a newborn in Benjamin Spock’s bestseller: “Nightgowns. You will need from 3 to 6 shirts. Buy immediately the size for the age of 1 year. Baby vests. You will need 3-6 vests in size 1 year.”

A newborn, undoubtedly, grows very quickly, but its size will cause both the child and the mother complete inconvenience.

“Remember that you know your child well, but I don’t know him at all.”

Many of the tips from the book “Child and Child Care” are naive and even dangerous for modern realities. However, Spock was the first pediatrician to contradict the generally accepted view that raising a child should primarily develop discipline. His ideas were revolutionary for his time and influenced many generations of parents, making them more sensitive to their children.

In the preface to his famous book, Benjamin Spock emphasizes that you should not blindly follow all the advice given in the book.

There are no similar children, just as there are no similar parents. Diseases occur differently in children; Educational problems take different forms in different families. All I could do was describe only the most general cases. Remember that you know your child well, but I don’t know him at all.”
Benjamin Spock
"Child and child care"

Dear Parents! Most of you have the opportunity to see a doctor if necessary. The doctor knows your child and only he can give you the best advice. Sometimes all it takes is a glance and one or two questions to understand what’s wrong with your child.

This book is not intended to teach you how to diagnose or treat yourself. The author wants to give you only a general idea of the child and his needs. True, for those parents who, due to exceptional circumstances, find it difficult to get to a doctor, some sections provide advice on providing first aid. Advice from a book is better than no advice at all! But you can’t rely only on a book if you have the opportunity to get real medical help.

I also want to emphasize that you should not take everything written in this book too literally. There are no similar children, just as there are no similar parents. Diseases occur differently in children; Educational problems take different forms in different families. All I could do was describe only the most general cases. Remember that you know your child well, but I don’t know him at all.

About parents

Trust yourself

1. You know much more than you think.

Your baby will be born soon. Maybe he was already born. You are happy and enthusiastic. But if you don't have enough experience, you may be worried that you won't be able to handle child care. You have heard a lot of conversations about raising children, you have read special literature on this topic, you have talked with doctors. The problem of caring for a child may seem overwhelming to you. You find out how your child needs vitamins and vaccinations. One friend tells you that you need to start giving eggs as before, because they contain iron, and another - that you need to wait with eggs, because they cause diathesis. You are told that a child can be spoiled if you hold him often, and that, on the contrary, he needs to be petted a lot. Some say that fairy tales excite the child, while others say that fairy tales have a beneficial effect on children.

Don't take everything your friends tell you too literally. Don't be afraid to trust your own common sense. Raising a child won't be difficult if you don't make it difficult. Trust your intuition and follow the advice of your pediatrician. The main thing a child needs is your love and care. And this is much more valuable than theoretical knowledge. Every time you hold your child, even if you do it awkwardly at first, every time you change his diaper, bathe him, feed him, talk to him, smile at him, the child feels that he belongs to you, and you belong to him. . No one in the world except you can give him this feeling. You might find it surprising that when studying child-rearing methods, scientists came to the conclusion that good, loving parents intuitively choose the best decisions. Moreover, self-confidence is the key to success. Be natural and don't be afraid to make mistakes.

Parents are people too

2. Parents have their own needs.

Books about child care, like this book, talk mainly about the many needs of a child. Therefore, inexperienced parents sometimes fall into despair after reading about the enormous work that they have to do. It seems to them that the author stands on the side of the children and blames the parents if something doesn’t go well. But it would only be fair to devote the same number of pages to the needs of parents, the failures that they constantly face, their fatigue, the insensitivity on the part of children, which hurts parents so painfully. Raising a child is long and hard work, and parents have human needs just like their children.

3. Children can be “easy” and “difficult”.

It is known that children are born with different temperaments and this does not depend on your desires. You have to accept the child as he is. But parents also have their own established characters, which are no longer easy to change. Some parents prefer quiet, obedient children and will have a difficult time with an energetic and noisy child. Others easily cope with a fidgety and brawling boy and will be disappointed if their child grows up to be “quiet.” Parents try to adapt to their child and do everything in their power for him.

4. At best, you will face hard work and the denial of many pleasures.

There is a lot of work to care for a child: you need to prepare food for him, wash diapers and clothes, constantly clean up after him, separate fights and console the beaten, listen to endless obscure stories, participate in children's games and read books to children that are not at all interesting to you, perform tedious walks around the zoo, taking children to school and to children's matinees, helping them prepare their homework, going to parent-teacher meetings in the evenings when you are very tired.

You will spend most of the family budget on children; because of children, you will not be able to often go to the theater, cinema, lectures, visits and evenings. You, of course, would never change places with childless parents for anything in the world, but still you miss your former freedom. Of course, people become parents not because they want to be martyrs, but because they love children and see in them flesh of their flesh. They also love children because their parents also loved them when they were children. Caring for children and monitoring their development give many parents, despite hard work, the greatest satisfaction in life, especially if the child turns out to be a wonderful person. Children are our creations, the guarantee of our immortality. All other achievements in our lives cannot be compared with the happiness of seeing our children grow into worthy people.

Dr. Spock's Family Lessons

A child is born to become an intelligent and kind human being. Don't be afraid to love it and enjoy it. It is vital for every child to be caressed, to smile at him, to love him and to be gentle with him. Don't be afraid to comply with your child's wishes if they seem reasonable to you and do not make you his slave. (B. Spock)

The Revolutionary Pedagogy of Dr. B. Spock

Fans of the American scientist, pediatrician and teacher Benjamin Spock often call him a guru, teacher and good advisor for all young parents. More than one generation has grown up reading his books since the most famous of them, “Child and Child Care,” appeared in 1946.

This real “bible” of education has gone through many reprints and has been translated into 42 languages, becoming a reference book for parents all over the world and the best-selling publication after the Bible. Its total circulation exceeded 50 million copies. With simplicity and grace, with humor and tact, the author was able to convey to parents ideas that by that time were known only to a narrow circle of psychologists and psychiatrists.

The name of Dr. Spock is associated with a real revolution in family education, which marked a decisive transition from authoritarianism in communicating with children to humanism, to democratic pedagogy. Spock is not so much a theorist as a practical experimenter, guaranteeing pedagogical success, carefully protecting parents from unjustified risks, inept innovation and mistakes. Spock's recommendations are especially popular among young mothers. And the expression “education according to Spock” has already become popular. This education is humanistic, creative, based on two forces - scientific knowledge and folk wisdom.

Today there is hardly a mother who does not know that the child should not be swaddled tightly and does not have to be fed according to a schedule. But in the middle of the 20th century, these “strange” advice from Dr. Spock became a real sensation. What other secrets did the American pediatrician, who became an authoritative family educator, reveal to parents?

Benjamin Spock was born in 1903 in New Haven (Connecticut, USA) into the family of a successful lawyer. Benjamin's mother, Mildred Louise, a strict and domineering woman, accustomed to hiding her feelings, was the embodiment of Puritanism. Dr. John Watson was then considered one of the main authorities on children's issues in America.

“Never, under any circumstances, kiss your child,” he strictly punished fathers and mothers in the book “Psychological Education of Infants and Children,” “never take him in your arms. Never rock the cradle."

It seems that Mildred Louise was a diligent student of Watson, and the pedagogical arsenal at that time consisted, as one journalist described it, of “obstinate manuals, judgments inherited from the Victorian era, teachings from grandmothers and well-meaning, but not always competent, advice from neighbors, mothers-in-law and mother-in-law." It is likely that Benjamin Spock wrote his book as a protest against the methods of education practiced, in particular, in his family.

For most American dads and moms, the new allowance was like a breath of fresh air. Even Mildred Louise, having read her son’s essay, said: “Well, Benny, in my opinion, is very good.” And young mothers read the book like an exciting novel. “I have a feeling,” one of the readers admitted in a letter to the author, “as if you are talking to me, and most importantly, you consider me a rational being...”

Spock was most influenced by the ideas of Sigmund Freud. The young doctor decided to take a course in Didactic Analysis. He was lucky with his analyst - he turned out to be Donald Winnicott, a humanist no less than a Freudian. The results of the analysis inspired Spock, allowed him to reconsider his worldview, take a fresh look at his own emotional problems based on his early childhood experiences.

Spock was so carried away that he decided to become a practicing psychoanalyst himself. In his opinion, solving children's problems should begin with parental problems. For some time he worked with young families, trying to warn future parents about the upcoming problems. He summarized his thoughts intended for parents in his first book, “Psychological Aspects of Pediatric Practice.”

In fact, the book was an application of Freud's theory to the practice of child care: feeding, weaning, potty training, discipline and many other behavioral and emotional problems. Avoiding theoretical discussions, Spock, in essence, tried to impart the foundations of psychoanalysis into the minds of the American middle class. Based on another of Freud's principles—that the suppression of children's behavioral reactions can cause serious neurotic disorders in the future—Spock suggested that parents be patient, tolerant, and calmly go through certain stages of child development. A few years later, the material from this first and least known book by Dr. Spock formed the basis of another book - the one that brought him worldwide fame.

Benjamin Spock himself has said more than once that he tried to bring to life the ideas of the greatest humanist thinkers of the early 20th century, believing that “it is not at all necessary to drive children into adulthood with the help of disciplinary methods - they may well become adults of their own free will.”

British psychologist Penelope Leach, considered one of the world's leading experts on child development, called Spock “the first person to look at the small child, even the infant, as a full human being. The child’s soul interested him as much as the body, which was not typical for most doctors of that time.”

The Paradoxes of Dr. B. Spock's Education

Doctor Spock is certainly an outstanding personality, but at the same time quite controversial, as both his critics and supporters have said more than once. But it’s depressing that the “guru of enlightenment liberals,” who insisted on raising children without stress, in love and joy, behaved completely differently with his own children.

A few years ago, Dr. Spock's sons, Michael and John, tired of the legend of the "apostle of gentleness", broke their silence for the first time, appearing on a BBC program with a confession about their "happy childhood." “Portrait of B. Spock in a Family Interior” had nothing in common with the popular image. The kindest “Doctor Aibolit,” who gave all the heat of his soul to other people’s children, was cold, stern and despotic with his family. Stingy with affection, smiles, intimate conversations, that is, with everything that he himself zealously called on every parent, Spock, with his alienation, caused a lot of suffering to his sons and his wife, who at the end of her life fell into deep depression.

Unconsciously copying his own parents, the famous doctor raised his children using the methods of his predecessor, John Watson, who was considered the main authority on this matter in the so-called Pre-Spokov period. The gloomy and pedantic Watson, who considered the child an amorphous mass from which anything can be molded, pointed out to parents the need to mold their offspring coldly and precisely, like a potter clay, so as not to spoil human material (do not kiss, do not hug, do not respond to whims, feed according to hours and according to the scheme, etc.).

After releasing a book that quickly became a bestseller, Watson tested the invented system on his two sons. As a result, one of them committed suicide, and the second became a psychoanalyst.

Struck by the result, the “guru” publicly renounced the essay that had brought him fame, admitting that he “knew too little of what he decided to write about.” But it was too late. “Gurumans” have already raised children in the Watsonian way, torturing them and suffering themselves.

With the advent of Spock, who sharply swung the education system in the opposite direction, many breathed a sigh of relief. His recipe for happiness for parents with children was fabulously simple and pleasant: maximum love, minimum prohibitions and no conflicts. Millions of enthusiasts went through life with the new guru's book in their hands. Years passed before the first warning signs appeared: the popular pediatrician’s technique was failing.

To get rid of the doubts that had arisen, one of Spock’s followers, psychologist M. Gribbin, conducted a study: for several years in a row she studied and compared children from an ordinary kindergarten (where they are required to maintain discipline, put in a corner, forced to eat healthy but unloved spinach) and, so to speak, “exclusive”, with a rich arsenal of all kinds of educational equipment, where children do whatever they want, and in the case of “impolite behavior” the staff kindly treats every little bully, interpreting his antics as “the need to attract the attention of others, a signal that that he is deprived of care and love.”

The results were disappointing. Children from the “traditional” kindergarten not only looked, but also felt much happier than those who were raised in a new way. Unlimited freedom deprived children of the necessary guidelines in difficult situations, which made them nervous, aggressive and led to one or another pathology. While ordinary children enthusiastically played group games (3-4 people each), easily mastering the basics of socialization, the “Spokovites” individually endlessly quarreled with each other and constantly sorted things out. The disillusioned “father of permissiveness” ultimately had to admit that his educational methods did not make the older generations of young people happier and mentally stronger.

However, Spock was well aware of the problem of taking his educational system too literally. By caring for a child “according to Spock,” parents lost their leading position, because they believed that the child knew better what he needed, and saw their role only as following his impulses.

Already in the 50s, Spock began to warn against extremes. In the second edition of his famous book (1957), he emphasized the role of parental authority, in the third (1968) he significantly expanded the chapter “Discipline”, where, while remaining in his previous positions regarding the decisive role of parental love in raising a child, he also emphasized the responsibility of parents to put children before reasonable restrictions, teach them by example and precept what is right and what is decent.

The authority of Spock, who died in 1998, continues to remain very high. However, a holy place is never empty, and today “gurumaniacs” from upbringing already worship a new idol - family doctor Steve Biddulph. An Englishman who grew up in Australia, a psychologist by training, wrote another bestseller, “The Secret of Happy Children,” which was translated into 15 languages and published in a million copies.

In addition to Great Britain, this book gained particular popularity in China and Germany. Its addressee is universal (a parent with any level of education, standing on any rung of the social ladder, having children from infants to teenagers), the language is simple, the pictures are like comics, the thoughts are sound, the advice is maximum practicality.

The author urges parents to avoid two main mistakes: not to become tyrants themselves and not to allow their children to turn into them. After all, parents are people too, only adults. Acting by the method of persuasion “according to Spock” is good, says Biddulph, but it is difficult and time-consuming. Not every parent these days has the time and energy for this. Therefore, it is better to model the correct stereotype of a child’s behavior with a clear and clear hint in an affirmative form.

For example, instead of admonishing an irrepressible child with the phrase “Don’t run out onto the roadway!”, it is better to briefly, without going into details, command him: “Stay on the sidewalk next to me!” - and that's it. Biddulph attracted parents with his common sense: children need intellectual and emotional stimulation, without them they get tired and bored; When working with a child, you should not make excessive demands on him, because joint activity, which brings people together and creatively enriches him, is a benefit in itself; it is important to listen and support the child in solving his problems; be consistent in your actions, punish bad behavior, but don’t take out your children’s bad mood, etc.

However, today's parents are not as gullible as the previous generation. Their inquisitive mind, scrupulousness, as well as access to large volumes of information, including thanks to the Internet, allow them not to go to extremes, but to rely on their intuition. They listen to advice, but do not shift responsibility for the child to the authors of numerous educational programs. The availability of specialized psychological literature, numerous magazines devoted to the development of children, and expanding opportunities for communication on forums with other mothers and fathers increase the level of self-awareness of modern young parents.

Not long ago, a survey was conducted of 200 mothers with children aged 3 months to 7 years. It was interesting whether they listen to the advice of Dr. Spock or whether they completely refuse any “external influences” and rely on their intuition. It turned out that:

➣ only 3% of young mothers use Dr. Spock’s advice in caring for and communicating with their child;

➣ 50% of respondents, although they have not read his books, are categorically against the recommendations given by Dr. Spock, which they heard about from friends. That is why they either turn to other authors, or, if necessary, consult with their acquaintances, relatives, and friends;

➣ 30% of mothers have read his book, but do not agree with many of the tips described in it, although they admit that they periodically open it if difficulties arise and urgently need to be overcome;

➣ 17% of respondents tried to follow Spock’s advice after reading articles on the ideas of the famous doctor, or after observing other families who actively use his advice, but did not get the expected effect, so they focus more on their experience and their own principles of education.

Well, education “according to Spock” has been criticized for a long time and constantly, but at the same time they sometimes forget: Spock is not a teacher! He did not intend to create a holistic pedagogical system with methods, manuals, specific programs and developments. Spock's pedagogy is simply commentary on answers to medical questions. The good doctor teaches a young mother what to do if her child has a tummy ache, and at the same time tells how the baby sees the world. “The child is not preparing to live, he is already living!” - this is the essence of Spock's teaching. At the same time, his humanistic ideas do not lose relevance over the years.

Spock more than anyone fits the description of “son of his age.” His birth occurred at the beginning, and his death - at the last moments of the past century, when the gaze of mankind turned to the coming century. Spock did not overtake his time, he kept pace with it, lived it step by step, sensitively absorbing scientific ideas and public sentiments and himself creating the ideological atmosphere that his contemporaries readily accepted.