Gestures and postures - we read the interlocutor. Open poses What are closed poses

In the process of direct communication with each other, people use not only words, but also nonverbal signals. Hand gestures, facial expressions, body position in space - all this can tell about the interlocutor no less than he is ready to tell himself. We propose to analyze the meaning of gestures in communication between people and their interpretation from the point of view of specialists in the field of psychology.

What does a handshake tell you?

Shaking hands is a non-verbal gesture that is used as a greeting in many cultures. Often it also indicates the end of communication or the achievement of an agreement. This gesture is characteristic mostly of men, although business etiquette allows ladies to resort to it at the beginning and end of negotiations if representatives of the opposite sex are involved. In this case, the woman is always the first to extend her hand.

This gesture itself can tell a lot about the interlocutor. A strong-willed, open person greets with a strong handshake, squeezing the interlocutor’s hand quite tightly. People who are not very confident show a sluggish gesture, in which the hand is relaxed and the hand is located below. Such a handshake characterizes a person without initiative, lazy, and not inclined to make independent decisions. Touching the interlocutor’s hand, accompanied by slight squeezing, can also indicate the person’s delicacy and his ability to keep his distance. If you say hello briefly, the interlocutor puts his hands behind his back or puts them in his pockets, thus demonstrating superiority.

Open people extend their hand to their “vis-a-vis”, bending it at the elbow and wrist only slightly. Secretive or deceitful people, on the contrary, try to keep the limb bent. Their forearm remains pressed to the body, while the hand is directed almost vertically. If, when shaking hands, such a person tries to press the interlocutor’s hand down, this characterizes him as cruel and rather domineering. Independent individuals try to maintain maximum distance, practically without bending their hand when shaking hands.

Scratching

Any small and fussy hand gestures betray excitement, uncertainty or a desire to hide the truth. If the speaker scratches the side of his neck, this may mean that he is voicing a thought that he is not entirely sure of. Such a gesture on the part of the listener speaks of his distrust or desire to understand what was said more deeply.

By touching the earlobe, scratching and rubbing it during a conversation, a person expresses his desire to speak. He delicately waits for the right moment when he can join the conversation, but at the same time he expresses impatience in every possible way, sometimes even raising his hand, like a schoolboy in class.

Arms crossed on chest

It is generally accepted that crossed arms and legs are a kind of energetic protection that people resort to in various life situations. There are many gestures with which a person closes himself off from his interlocutor or the world around him. We propose to consider the most common of them.

The first pose is crossing your arms in front of your chest. The forearms are connected together, while the hands can clasp the shoulders or be pressed against the body. People often take this position in unfamiliar places where they do not feel completely safe.
The position in which the interlocutor crosses his arms over his chest indicates a negative attitude towards what is happening and may mean a reluctance to discuss a topic. Sometimes distrust of what a person hears causes a person to cross their arms over their chest. People who want to hide information resort to a similar gesture. The body position, when arms crossed on the chest are combined with palms clenched into fists, should be considered a state of defense, extreme tension. Reddened cheeks and constricted pupils indicate a readiness to fight back.
Public figures rarely openly display gestures that could betray their nervousness or desire to hide something. Meanwhile, they also tend to use similar energy protection. It is not difficult to distinguish camouflaged crossings. Ladies usually touch their wrist, turn the bracelet on their hand, and fiddle with the clasp on their watch. A man can adjust cufflinks or cuffs. A gesture in which a person holds an object at chest level with both hands looks similar. This could be a book or a folder with papers pressed to your chest, a bouquet of flowers, a glass of wine.

Fingers clasped

With your fingers clasped, your hands can lie in front of you or on your knees, or fall along the body if this is a standing position. Behind such a gesture lies disappointment and hidden hostility if a person sits with his hands in front of him or bringing them closer to his face. At the same time, the higher the hands are raised, the stronger the negative feelings. Sometimes such a gesture is perceived as attention to the interlocutor, because the person sitting opposite may smile and even nod. But this is a mistaken impression; with feigned facial expressions, the interlocutor is only trying to hide a negative attitude towards what is happening.

What does the hands behind your back gesture mean?

The position of the body, when a person's arms are pulled back and closed behind the back, is associated with a demonstration of superiority. An even posture, an expanded chest and straightened shoulders indicate that the individual is quite happy with his position and is confident in himself. Such a gesture can also be considered as a high degree of trust in the interlocutor. Most likely, the person feels quite comfortable and does not feel any threat. This gesture is characterized by placing the palms on top of each other.

If a person puts his hands behind his back, clasping his wrist or forearm with one hand, this means that he is excited and trying to control himself. Moreover, the higher the grip, the stronger the emotions the individual experiences and the more difficult it is to restrain them. Hands placed behind the back can be combined with other gestures, such as scratching the back of the head. This indicates self-doubt and a feeling of awkwardness. In this case, by hiding his hands from the interlocutor, the person is trying to hide the state of stress, concern or excitement.

Hands in pockets

Many of us, as children, have heard our parents remark: “Take your hands out of your pockets, it’s not decent.” Indeed, a person who hides his brushes deeper during a conversation can hardly be called well-mannered. But often such a gesture betrays a desire to hide something. Most likely, the interlocutor is not telling much, is outright lying, or his reaction to the conversation does not correspond to what is being demonstrated.

A similar reaction is also observed in shy people who simply do not know where to put their hands during a conversation and are afraid that unnecessary gestures will reveal their nervousness. It is not difficult to understand this, since such a person behaves constrained, speaks little and reluctantly, keeps his shoulders down and his gaze turned downward.

If, when communicating, the interlocutor squeezes clenched fists into his pockets, it means that he is overwhelmed by anger and rage. The gesture means that it is difficult for a person to control negative emotions. He has exhausted all verbal arguments and is ready to move on to physical violence. Usually the threat is reflected in facial expressions: eyes narrow, cheekbones tense, teeth clenched.

Hand gestures with thumb emphasis

If the thumbs stick out upward, such a gesture indicates a desire to dominate. With such a non-verbal signal, the man lets the lady know that he is interested in her. He demonstrates his superiority and social status by placing his palms in his trouser pockets or behind his belt. The thumbs unambiguously indicate the direction where the object of male pride and dignity is actually located. Such a gesture can be regarded as a desire to please, conquer and conquer.

Without considering the gesture in a sexual context, we can say that hands in pockets and thumbs outside are a demonstration of power and superiority. Another dominance gesture looks like this: arms crossed over the chest and thumbs pointing up. Power and a sense of superiority simply overwhelm the individual if he takes such a pose.

When a person tightly clasps his shoulders with his hands, raises his thumbs, lifts his chin and looks into the face of his interlocutor, this indicates that he is confident in his own rightness and does not want to hear objections. Interestingly, these dominance gestures involving the thumbs are used by both men and women.

Open palm demonstration

Open palms are associated with honesty of intentions. According to research, businessmen who do not use open-palm gestures are less likely to succeed. People trust less those who keep their hands clasped in front of them, believing that they are not completely honest and are trying to hide something.

A person asking for something is more likely to achieve his goal if he accompanies his words with a gesture with his palms turned up. This gesture is more inviting because it does not pose a threat. If the interlocutor sees the back of the hand, then the request will be perceived as an instruction and may cause an antagonistic attitude.

What do hands pressed to the chest mean?

When a person declares his love or expresses sympathy, he puts his hand to his chest, as if saying that his words come from the heart. Often those who want to convince their interlocutor of the absence of malicious intent resort to a similar technique. Behind this gesture lies a desire to show the sincerity of feelings, but this does not always correspond to the actual intentions of the speaker.

By putting his fingers together, with his palms apart, the speaker wants to show his confidence and awareness of the issue. Perhaps he wants to emphasize significant points in his speech or wants to convince his interlocutor that he is right. If the speaker's head is slightly tilted back, this can be interpreted as a feeling of superiority.

This gesture has two options; when your fingertips point up or down. The first is usually used by people who want to express their thoughts, and the second by those who are listening. In the latter case, the gesture is regarded as negative and means that the interlocutor has his own opinion about what was said. It is no longer possible to convince him, since, as in the first case, this position of the hands indicates confidence in his decision.

Hands spread out, palms up

A gesture when a person, when communicating, shows his palms facing the interlocutor or a group of people, he seems to be saying: “I’ll be frank with you.” This is a non-verbal signal that encourages openness. It should be noted that such a technique is often used by unscrupulous people who want to instill trust in themselves. Therefore, such nonverbal gestures must be interpreted taking into account facial expressions and behavior. If the interlocutor has nothing to hide, he behaves naturally, his face is relaxed, his eyebrows are raised, and his hands are spread wide.

Putting your hands behind your head

The habit of throwing their hands behind their heads is characteristic of self-confident people who love to show their superiority. This gesture irritates many on a subconscious level, since it immediately reveals the interlocutor as a snob. Placing your hands behind your head during a conversation is a gesture that demonstrates confidence and superiority. If at the same time a person sits in a relaxed position, crossing his legs, then this is an amateur. As a rule, such a gesture is used when communicating with subordinates or equal in status.

The origin of this position is unknown, but psychologists are sure that in this way a person seems to sink into an imaginary chair, relaxing with his whole body. This manner of sitting does not always have a negative meaning. Often a person, tired from work or sitting for a long time, puts his hands on the back of his head, stretching his whole body. With such a gesture, he demonstrates that he feels quite comfortable in your company.

Most people touch their face during a conversation. Such gestures might look like:

stroking the chin,
rubbing the bridge of the nose or eyelid,
touching the mouth with a hand or various objects,
fingers touching temples,
propping your cheek with your palm.

Most often, behind such movements lies a desire to conceal the truth or, on the contrary, distrust of the speaker. It is best to consider such gestures in combination with a person’s facial expressions, since the same touch can have different meanings.

For example:

A gesture like stroking the chin talks about making a decision. If the interlocutor uses his thumb, he is confident that he is in complete control of the situation. Nervous rubbing of the lower part of the face with the palm of the hand indicates that the person is not too happy with the proposed option, but an alternative has not yet been found.
Touching the lower lip demonstrates interest in the conversation or interlocutor. In this case, a person can run along the line of the mouth with one finger and actively rub this area. The most spontaneous listeners even pull back or curl their lower lip. Ladies, in order to attract men's attention to themselves, can run over their lips not only with their hand, but also with the tip of their tongue.
Many children use it on a subconscious level. Eg, fingers in mouth- a gesture that looks quite cute and means that the child feels the need for approval and support from others. However, adults sometimes make similar movements. In their case, such gestures carry the same semantic meaning as in children.
Some gestures that express emotions and feelings involve the use of various objects. For example, it is worth paying attention to the fact that the interlocutor brings the pen to his mouth. If the interlocutor is telling something, it may be a lie. If he listens to you, then with this gesture he expresses distrust. However, such actions may have another reason. Some people chew on a pencil or pen while thinking about a problem.
A fairly common posture during a conversation, when hand supports cheek or chin. These gestures look approximately the same, but are interpreted differently. If the interlocutor listens attentively, resting his chin on his hand, most likely it is more convenient for him to comprehend what he heard. But when the listener relaxes with his hand on his cheek and his gaze is distracted, most likely he is bored and is looking forward to the end of the conversation.
An expression of disbelief in what has been said looks like twisting the earlobe, frequently touching the eyes or corners of the lips. This is also indicated by the index finger with which the listener props his cheek. By raising the index finger to the temple, a person demonstrates a critical attitude. Perhaps he feels distrust, or is not satisfied with the arguments given, analyzes what he hears, suspecting a catch.
Gestures like rubbing the neck or ear they talk about an unwillingness to listen anymore or that the topic is not very pleasant to the interlocutor. In the latter case, the person often takes a closed posture, crossing his legs or arms. He may also clasp his hands, shutting himself out from communication, or stand up abruptly, thereby demonstrating that the conversation is completed.

What gestures indicate deception?

When a person is telling a lie, you can tell by his gestures and facial expressions. Of course, it is unlikely that anyone will become very nervous, embellishing events a little. But if we are talking about a major deception or a desire to hide a serious misconduct, then answering direct questions, a person is unlikely to be able to hide all emotions.

A liar can be betrayed by shaking hands, a desire to immediately take a sip of water, or hastily lighting a cigarette. To hide a lie, the interlocutor will look away or, on the contrary, look intently into your eyes, demonstrating that he is honest with you.

A person who is telling a lie begins to blink frequently and make unnecessary movements, such as rearranging papers. It is believed that rubbing the nose also indicates insincerity, especially if a person performs this action several times in a row. If the speaker's mouth is covered with his hand, there is also a high probability that he is lying. It is worth paying attention to such a gesture as rubbing the eyelid. Often he also tells lies, although perhaps the interlocutor himself does not trust you too much. The desire to close your mouth, as well as touching your lips with your fingers, are gestures that mean deception.

Conclusion

It is worth remembering that in non-verbal communication every gesture has meaning, since it is perceived by the interlocutor, often on a subconscious level. Perhaps you just like to keep your hands in your pockets or sit comfortably with your hands clasped. However, interlocutors or business partners will draw their own conclusions from this.

Hand position

When communicating in open positions, hands are always directed towards the interlocutor. They seem to attract him and say - come to me, I’m ready to meet you. The palms are most often directed upward; there are no obstacles in front of the interlocutor.

Leg position

The legs must look at the interlocutor. If they look somewhere to the side, this means that the topic of conversation is not interesting to the interlocutor. If the legs are under the interlocutor's body, this is a sign that he feels insecure, timid and a little suspicious. If a person places his feet shoulder-width apart, this indicates confidence and a good mood.

Signs of closed postures

The closed position is when the person you are talking to sits in front of you with their legs and arms crossed. In this case, there may often be some kind of obstacle between you.

You can also add that if the interlocutor hides his hands in his pockets when communicating, then perhaps he has something to hide. If a person hides his entire hand in his pocket, but leaves his thumb outside, then he is very confident in his position and you are unlikely to be able to convince him. However, if the interlocutor’s hands are on the belt, and even if the thumb is in a visible place, then the interlocutor is supporting himself and is clearly unstable in his position.

Gestures and posture of the interlocutor reflect the internal state of a person. They, like other components of nonverbal communication, cannot always be interpreted unambiguously.

Much depends on the general atmosphere and content of the conversation, as well as on the individual characteristics of the interlocutor, on his self-control and degree of proficiency in non-verbal means of communication.

Lawyers, actors, politicians, etc. either refuse to gesticulate altogether, or specially practice facial expressions, gestures and postures that make you believe what they say.

However, you can learn to accurately recognize the internal state of your interlocutor.

According to psychologists, when saying something, a person, without realizing it, makes certain body movements.

The meaning of gestures and postures

If during a conversation your partner moves or turns towards the door, if his feet are facing the exit, this means that he would like to leave.

The interlocutor pacing around the room is most likely carefully thinking about a complex problem and making a difficult decision. Don't distract him - this may interrupt his train of thought and prevent him from making a decision.

If the interlocutor leans with one hand on the doorframe or wall and holds the other on his hip, it means he is trying to dominate. This is also indicated by this pose: both hands on the hips, legs slightly apart.

The interlocutor, sitting on a chair, lounging, casually, crossing his legs, considers himself the master of the situation. The one who sits on the edge of the chair, with his hands folded on his knees, on the contrary, is inclined to obey.

If the interlocutor raises his shoulders and lowers his head ("bulls up"), it means that he is offended or insulted. Especially if at the same time he also begins to draw something on a sheet of paper (various geometric shapes, arrows, etc.). In this case, you should change the topic of conversation. When your partner returns to good spirits, try to carefully find out how exactly you offended him.

A person who feels superior puts his hands behind his back, clasping his wrists. But the hands clasped behind his back indicate that the person is trying to calm down or at least hide his excitement. Moreover, the more excited and excited he is, the higher he puts his hands behind his back. By the way, this is where the expression “pull yourself together” comes from.

“Putting your hands behind your head” is another gesture that expresses superiority. It irritates many people, so refrain from using it, and if your interlocutor did this, try to carefully find out why he behaves this way.

"Open Hands" By extending your hands to your interlocutor, palms up, you demonstrate your desire to establish contact and meet him halfway. Businessmen are recommended to use this tin during business meetings. It is best to start the “open arms” gesture from the level of the stomach, pointing your hands slightly towards the interlocutor. It is believed that open palms are one of the best proofs of the frankness of the interlocutor.

If your interlocutor unbuttoned or took off his jacket, then a positive decision is just around the corner. Unbuttoning the jacket means establishing a trusting relationship and is usually accompanied by the partners straightening their legs and moving closer to each other. Noticing that the interlocutor has leaned forward with his whole body, and has put his hands on his knees or is holding the edges of the seat with them, immediately offer to end the meeting: this is exactly what your interlocutor is striving for.

"Spiel-like gesture." The fingers touch each other, forming a spire, the tip of which can be directed up or down. This gesture expresses self-confidence in one’s decision, and its meaning can be accurately interpreted only on the basis of the movements accompanying it, for example, a running glance or arms crossed on the chest indicate an intention to refuse the deal and end the conversation.

“Pinching the bridge of the nose” is a sign of deep concentration and intense thinking, while the person usually closes his eyes.

If your interlocutor scratches his chin (as a rule, he also squints his eyes), then he makes a decision.

If your interlocutor rests his chin on his palm with his index finger extended, it means he is critical of your proposals.

When a person speaks insincerely or hears someone else lying, he involuntarily tries to cover his mouth, eyes and ears with his hands. Anyone who, after saying something, covers his mouth with his hand (the thumb is usually pressed to the cheek, the gesture is often accompanied by a feigned cough) is most likely lying. With a similar gesture, at the time of your speech, the interlocutor expresses doubt about your veracity.

Light, quick touches to the nose or dimple under the nose can also indicate a lie. Experts explain this by saying that at the moment of telling a lie, a person experiences itching, irritation of the nerve endings of the nose, and he is forced to scratch it or at least touch it in order to get rid of the itching.

It should be remembered that touching the nose or quickly rubbing it cannot serve as absolute proof of the insincerity of the interlocutor. Sometimes such a gesture expresses a person’s doubt about something, intense thinking, and a search for the exact wording of an answer. And finally, your interlocutor may scratch his nose simply because it itches. True, for itching associated, for example, with allergies, the nose is rubbed vigorously, and the rubbing gesture is characterized by a light touch.

Lying causes itching in the eyelids, as well as in the muscle tissues of the neck. Therefore, some insincere interlocutors sometimes pull back their collar. When rubbing the eyelid, men do it vigorously, while women, as a rule, only run their finger along the lower eyelid.

Rubbing the eyelid is also associated with the desire to avoid looking into the eyes of the interlocutor who is being lied to,

Rubbing your forehead, temples, or chin can indicate a lie, or at least a desire to hide something.

If you notice that the interlocutor is lying, ask him to repeat or clarify the statement. This may force the partner to give up the dishonest game.

Scratching your ear can be the equivalent of saying, “I don’t want to hear that.”

The earlobe is pulled in a state of excitement, frustration, and it is pulled when a person is tired of listening and wants to speak out himself.

The desire to interrupt the interlocutor is more clearly signaled by a slightly raised index finger. This gesture expresses the desire to object, move on to the next question or, conversely, return to the previous one, etc.

If your interlocutor is picking up some unnoticeable fluff from his suit at the time of your statement, he does not approve of your words, although he does not express his disagreement out loud. If throughout the conversation he verbally agrees with you, but constantly picks up non-existent lint from his clothes, this is a sign that he actually does not agree with your opinion.

The position of your shoulders and head can tell you a lot. When a person is relaxed, his shoulders are usually slumped. In a state of tension, a person usually involuntarily raises his shoulders. Those who speak from the podium in front of a large audience are advised to pay attention to the shoulders and heads of the listeners. This will help you understand the mood of the audience and start your speech accordingly. The more shoulders raised, the more hostile the audience.

The interlocutor with raised shoulders and lowered head most likely feels interest, affection for the partner, and calmness.

An interlocutor with drooping shoulders and a raised head may feel uncertainty, dissatisfaction, fear, and a sense of contempt for his partner. This pose is typical for reserved people.

When your interlocutor tilts his head slightly to the side while listening to you, this may be an expression of interest in your words or in you personally.

In contact with

The pose of our interlocutor will reveal his intentions before he begins to talk about them, and the expression of his face will “tell” about the most subtle experiences much more and more accurately than the most lengthy description. Nonverbal behavior is controlled mainly by unconscious processes, part of which are habits, automatic actions, which there is simply “no time and no need to think about.” Therefore, nonverbal communication channels rarely provide unreliable, false information, since they are less controllable than verbal communication.

Non-verbal communication

For any specialist working in the field of trade, it is very important to know the processes occurring in the client’s mind at every moment of business negotiations. Thoughtful observation of bodily movements is not as simple a task as it seems at first. In reality, the client doesn't care about giving us extra time to decipher his messages. He offers us a complex of small movements for interpretation and gives us only the time to think about the next move that is filled with his own words. Correct decoding of a non-verbal message allows us to take a step towards concluding a deal; incorrect decoding takes us in the opposite direction.

Of course, the client will not tell us: “I took out this insurance because the manager who discussed the contract with me sat in an open position, looked me in the eyes 2/3 of the time, and while discussing the details of the contract sat next to me, and not against". Most likely, this client will say: “I just like this person and what he offers inspires confidence.”

To have a professional impact on clients, it is necessary not only to correctly determine what each gesture means, but also to thoroughly study and expand the arsenal of your own gestures and movements.

Body language is varied and includes several plans. Each movement has its own meaning and carries a certain “message” to others. This message can be expressed by fairly typical movements, or it can have its own individual content, understandable only upon close acquaintance with the person. There are five non-verbal channels through which interlocutors exchange information:

space;
facial expressions;
sight;
bodily movements.

Space and work with the client

The distance between two people entering into communication (not necessarily verbal) is usually called distance. One of the most important indicators of a manager’s professional work is his ability to choose the optimal distance during a business conversation. Here are two situations typical for the Russian market.

Situation one. The client comes to the showroom and carefully examines the products on offer. Model X attracts his attention so much that he wants to get more information about it. Our buyer is looking for a manager who could advise him on this issue. Alas, the nearest “living being” is at a distance of three meters, with all its appearance announcing that it is completely busy with its business. In response to our client’s question about an additional squiggle for Model X, the manager, maintaining a three-meter distance, casually points with his hand in an unspecified direction: “Ask there.”
Situation two. An assertive manager, trained in the “grabbing technique,” approaches the client almost closely and, taking advantage of his confusion, lays out the entire assortment of goods right under the nose of the unfortunate person. At the same time, the client signals his discomfort in all possible ways (leans his body back, frowns, smiles forcefully), but the manager prefers not to pay attention to this. But as soon as he falls silent, our client replies: “Thank you, I don’t need that.”

Each person feels the space around him as his own, inviolable. This space can be represented in the form of a cocoon, the diameter of which is an outstretched arm, slightly bent at the elbow. If someone encroaches on this space, the person feels uncomfortable, “out of place” and strives to escort the intruder out of “their” territory.

For each person, the size of the cocoon and, accordingly, the distances are individual. Usually confident, contactable people communicate calmly at close range, flexibly adapting to the distance of the interlocutor. Closed, “problem” people feel additional stress when the distance decreases. Therefore, they choose more restrained communication and, accordingly, a longer distance.

In addition to the individual characteristics of the distance, there are general patterns that are characteristic of most people. There are four types of distance for communication:

intimate;
personal;
social;
public.

You can choose the distance at which communication with the client takes place, depending on the goals that you set for yourself. But it is important to remember that distance will only work to close a deal if both you and your client feel comfortable at this distance.

intimate distance

(from direct physical contact to 40-45 cm) characterizes close, intimate communication. People with whom warm, trusting relationships are established are allowed to travel this distance. A person allowed to communicate at such a close distance is allowed physical contact - light touching, stroking, squeezing. Tactile contact is perceived as one of the confirmations of the trusting relationship that has developed between two people.

Entering an intimate space makes the other person significant and influential. This pattern is well used by clothing and jewelry sellers. If the buyer allows the seller to try on a jacket or ring, the likelihood of purchasing this particular item increases sharply. It is important to remember that a manager can increase his influence on a client only if he is actually allowed into the intimate space, and does not force his way into it. An unexpected violation of personal territory is perceived as pressure and causes a response of resistance. Salespeople who try to come close to the client, pat him on the shoulder, shake his hand even if they do not extend it, may look relaxed, however, many buyers will evaluate their “free” behavior as intrusive and even defiant. Professional worker the seller does not seek to enter a zone intended only for close people. His efforts are aimed at moving his own goods into the intimate space of the client. In this case, the item becomes “closer and dearer” for the client.

Personal distance

is in the range from 45 to 120 cm. This distance is optimal for negotiations if a fairly close relationship has already been established with the client. If the relationship remains cool and the buyer experiences a certain distrust of the manager, you should not approach him closer than 120 cm. In the process of concluding a transaction, the distance at which both interlocutors are located may change. It is this change that is the important “message” that our client sends. Typically, the conductor of such a message is the legs or body of a person. If the buyer takes a small step back, most likely we have violated the distance at which he wants to communicate. If the customer leans forward and cranes his neck, we should move closer to him. A change in distance can be a good indicator of the client’s internal experiences. Distrust, tension, and irritation force the buyer to increase the distance. Interest and emotional involvement “pushes” the client closer to both the product and the seller.

Social distance

is determined in the range from 120 to 260 cm. This distance is optimal for starting official negotiations, an important element of which is maintaining status. By giving our communication partner more personal space, we emphasize its importance and weight. This distance is also well suited for negotiations involving more than two people.

Important information for the seller is carried not only by the distance chosen by the client, but also by the location of things in the space that the buyer “owns”. Particularly important is the location of a chair, armchair or other “sitting” place for the visitor. You can probably remember many small, seemingly insignificant gestures with the help of which the client “indicates” you from which place it is better to communicate with him. The buyer may unconsciously maintain a greater distance in order to avoid contact, emphasize his own status, or increase his influence by maintaining a position “on top.” In public places, where the distance is set by boundaries in the form of various tables, windows and partitions, you can observe clients “leaning” over the counter and craning their necks just to maintain a distance at which they can communicate comfortably.

Public distance

starts from 260 cm. This distance involves communicating with a group of people. Choosing a public distance is effective for presentations. The remoteness of the “lecturer” allows the audience to feel like a single group with similar interests.

The type of distance is quite strictly related to the style of behavior. Thus, a manager will be able to gain the attention of the audience during a presentation if he uses a well-positioned voice and a “moving” gaze that allows him to establish visual contact with each listener. At the same time, maintaining this behavior in a one-on-one conversation will make the client want to move away.

Here is a typical picture that can be observed in many presentations: A good-looking young man loudly and clearly pronounces a well-prepared text designed to attract potential clients. This text has a positive effect on the mind of the “wandering” buyer and forces him to come closer to the manager. The situation has changed - the client has reduced the distance. What does our manager do? He maintains a presentation style that is completely ineffective for communicating with a client who is within personal distance. Instead of building contact with a real buyer, he continues to “broadcast” to customers who bypass him. The inquisitive client, having not received psychological reinforcement for his bold behavior, leaves. Moreover, buyers who were interested in the text of the message, but were embarrassed to come closer, now see that there is “nothing interesting” there.

Gestures and postures as a coded message

The information necessary to conclude a transaction is stored in the facial expressions, gestures and postures of our clients. We can use this information by observing the client's overall behavior, trusting our intuition, and can pay attention to individual gestures that send a coded message to the experienced observer. Let's look at some of them.

Closed pose

. The pose in which a person crosses his arms and legs is called closed. Arms crossed on the chest are a modified version of the barrier that a person puts between himself and his interlocutor. The closed pose carries the message: “I am self-absorbed, I don’t want to contact you.” Sometimes this posture expresses disagreement or even dissatisfaction with what the interlocutor is saying. If it is reinforced by clenched fists, then an attentive observer will understand that the interlocutor is not only “holding the line”, but is also ready, if anything happens, for battle.

About a third of the information perceived in this position is not assimilated by the interlocutor. The simplest way to “remove” a client from a position that is unfavorable for us is to offer to hold or look at something. By changing the position of the body, the client also changes the position of the hands. If we see that the client maintains a closed posture in order to feel more confident, then we must provide him with at least minimal support. If we see that the closed posture is an expression of disagreement with our point of view, we need to find out what our client is dissatisfied with .

Open pose

An open position is considered to be one in which the arms and legs are not crossed, the body is directed towards the interlocutor and the palms are slightly turned towards the communication partner. All channels of nonverbal communication are closely interconnected. As soon as a person changes his blank gaze to an interested one, he can no longer remain in a closed position: his shoulders straighten, his arms cease to act as a protective barrier, his legs acquire a more stable position, and his facial expression becomes more contact-like. An open posture conveys the message to the client: “I am committed to communicating with you.” Therefore, buyers usually evaluate such a manager as interested, communicative, friendly, and well versed in the product.

For some managers, accustomed to defending themselves from clients with various closed postures, it can be quite difficult to maintain an open posture throughout a business conversation. Sometimes you can hear the following statements: “It looks unnatural,” “I’m so uncomfortable,” “I’m used to it differently.” Any change in the usual posture, movement or gesture seems unnatural and therefore not entirely comfortable. Sometimes, in order to overcome the discomfort associated with an unusual posture, you just need to “catch” a certain inner sensation. If you induce in yourself a mood corresponding to the following statements: “I am attuned to the client, it is interesting and important for me to hear his opinion. I sincerely want to help him solve his problems,” then the body itself will choose the most comfortable position for itself. This will be your individual open posture, which will help in working with clients.

Covering the mouth and scratching the nose

A child who has just let it slip screams “oh” and immediately covers his mouth with his palm, as if putting a barrier to the spoken words. With age, this gesture is modified and becomes more sophisticated, but its meaning remains the same. Covering your mouth reflects the interlocutor's two conflicting desires: to speak out and to remain unheard. In this case, the manager can help the interlocutor talk by asking him a question or paying attention to his posture using the statement: “I see that you do not agree with me on everything.” The gesture of touching the nose conveys similar information about the client. It is a veiled version of the “closed” mouth. A client who scratches or strokes his own nose is most likely currently in opposition to the manager's statement.

Gestures used by the client to cover his nose and mouth convey important information to us about the client's honesty. These gestures indicate that there is a contradiction between what the client is saying and what he is actually thinking. You should not believe a client who, scratching his nose, says: “We will discuss the terms of the deal in more detail next time.” There won't be a next time.

Touching your ear

Ear scratching is a lighter version of “plugging” the ears and means that a person does not want to hear what the interlocutor is telling him. Such a reaction is possible if the client becomes bored listening to the sales agent or does not agree with one of his statements. In any case, the manager should find out what in his speech causes such resistance. This can be done by asking questions: “Do you disagree with me?” or “What do you think?”

Supporting your chin with your palm

If you are giving a presentation and your client is supporting his head with his palm, then you should use one of the techniques that increases the attention of your interlocutor. The client rests his cheek or chin with his palm if he is bored, uninterested and struggling with his desire to fall asleep. In this case, he, of course, needs additional support in the form of a hand. The less the client is interested in our offers, the more his head comes into contact with his palm.

During long business negotiations, especially with “chatty” or “boring” clients, a salesperson may unconsciously maintain his waning interest with the help of additional support. But this gesture will work against concluding a deal, as it will convey fatigue and disinterest to the client.

Stroking the chin

This gesture suggests that the client is in the stage of reflection and is considering possible options for himself. For the manager, this gesture carries important information that it is necessary to once again ask about the buyer’s doubts, listen to them and give reasons for and against purchasing the product. The manager can use this gesture in a situation where he needs to think (this gesture with successfully replaces head scratching and neck rubbing), or in a situation where he wants to show that the client's suggestions need additional thought.

Head position

If you have a dog or cat at home, you are well aware of situations when your pet struggles to understand what you are talking about. At this moment, the animal's head tilts slightly to the side. The same thing happens with an interested client. When the body is slightly tilted forward and the head is slightly turned to the side, the client's readiness to perceive new information is maximum. It is at this moment that the manager's statements have the greatest persuasive power.

In order to inspire the greatest confidence in the client, the manager should listen to the client with his head slightly tilted. Such a gesture will tell the client that the seller’s interest is sincere and genuine. It is important not only how much the head is tilted to the side, but also how much its position differs from vertical along the “forward-backward” axis. The posture of a manager with his head bent forward and looking from under his brows will be perceived by the client as “intimidating.” This head position is often maintained by sales agents who have received several refusals in a day, but at the same time decide not to give up. And the posture of a manager who throws his head back a little will be perceived as arrogant or appreciative.

Gestures of impatience

If a client taps his fingers on the table, fidgets in his chair, stomps his feet, or looks at his watch, then he is signaling to others that his patience is running out. Typically, a client shows impatience in three main cases:

if you “wrongly” agreed on the time frame of the business conversation. For example, the seller said that his visit would not take more than 10 minutes, but in fact the conversation had already been going on for half an hour. You should not deceive the client. A short visit may help arrange a meeting, but the client’s attention will be limited to just 10 minutes. For the last 20 minutes you will have to deal with an impatient and sometimes irritated client who is not thinking about the product, but about how to get rid of you quickly;
if the client is unable to concentrate on the topic of discussion due to his own worries and worries. In this case, the manager should move on to the topic that worries the client at the moment, question him in detail and express sympathy and support. This will help the client return to the subject of conversation;
if the manager's proposals do not affect his interests. This usually happens if the sales agent misjudged the client - at the moment he does not need his product. Or if the seller was unable, during a business conversation, to highlight the benefits that the buyer would receive as a result of the transaction.

A manager may unknowingly demonstrate impatience in the following situations:

if the client has made a fundamental decision to purchase and is busy completing the documentation;
if the client is assessed as “unpromising” and delays the seller with “talks about the weather.”

Gestures of superiority

For some managers, a serious problem is the need to establish contact with a client who demonstrates his own superiority. Typically, such clients can be seen from afar by their distinct gait, straight posture, and raised chin. Managers who have trouble communicating with clients who emphasize their own superiority often unconsciously resort to two ineffective tactics.

The first of them is determined by the position occupied by the seller “from below”. Communicating from this position, the sales agent begins to look ingratiatingly at the buyer, stoop and smile pleadingly. This allows the client to “straighten his shoulders” and feel his own importance. However, the persuasiveness of influencing the client from a position “from below” is sharply reduced, even when using effective communication techniques.
Another tactic involves the salesperson's position at the top. The salesperson begins to use the same gestures that our client just demonstrated. He straightens up (thereby increasing his height by a couple of centimeters), adds arrogance to his own gaze, and lifts his chin up. Usually such confrontation does not lead to anything good. The client either prefers “not to get involved” and does not come into contact with the seller, or begins to “pressure” the manager in order to prove his own advantage.

It is surprising that these types of clients desperately need to emphasize their own importance, because deep down they do not have enough confidence in themselves. With a client seeking self-affirmation, you can use techniques to help him stay on top. We can make him feel superior by offering him a high-status role. For example: “What would you do if you became the president of the company?”, “What would you advise us to do if you were the manager of a bank?” It is important to observe how the client’s movements change. Most likely, the muscles of the back and neck will relax a little, and the facial expression will become more friendly and interested.